During the time where we shared custody I was working full time, travelling quite a lot and trying to navigate handovers with the children with a man who would still attack me at every opportunity. I came to love the times he seemed to meet a new girlfriend as he was distracted and left me alone.
He lived close by so weekend handovers could be managed well, however when I travelled with work he came back to the family home so as not to disrupt the girls routine. I hated that he was invading our space, but I felt it was best for them.
On one occasion I had two days in Germany, I was supposed to stay for the third night but I wanted to get back to the girls. I have a distinct memory of calling Lola on the second night., I was at a black tie dinner but as I went outside to speak to her she was hysterical, screaming for me to come home. Of course I had no idea why. I felt trapped knowing that they weren’t happy when they were with him but I had no idea why or grounds to stop it.
Other friends said they had witnessed him slapping them in the park, or that Lola would beg to stay longer with friends rather than go back to him.
As I was working full time I could rarely arrange after school playdates, but he worked closer to home and would often have Lola’s friends over. I remember on one occasion returning home to see him watching a dance routine Lola and her friend were putting on. The way he looked at them made me feel sick, but I didn’t know why.
I was being frugal, having to manage on one salary but I managed to save to take the girls to an Italian eurocamp. They were in heaven, we all were, and I took them on a day trip to Venice. It was a blazing hot day and we were sweltering so we retreated to an air conditioned cafe. They started singing a song, ‘I like to shave my willy’. They were both having the crying giggles as we called them, and I joined in. I thought it was just an odd song they had made up.
On the last day the girls were hyper beyond belief, I mentioned it to a couple we had met, that they were getting worse pre handovers and I couldn’t work out why. Shortly after I remember overhearing my Mother tell my Aunt that the girls were really playing me up.
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