Originally both girls were directed to have supervised contact weekly on a Saturday managed by a Children's Centre. This went on for a period of about 18 months - which you can imagine was limiting if we had weekend plans - and we missed countless plans.
My eldest refused but she was still directed to turn up each week and say with her own voice that she didn't want to see him. Thankfully the Court ordered that she didn't have to go, but only after 6 months.
The contact supervisors had to write a report after each session and I dreaded receiving each one as they would often make comments about Iris, ascertaining I hadn't been looking after her properly.
But over time Liam started using them, befriending them with his usual manipulative tactics, so they believed he was innocent and I was the abuser. This meant they were at times lax and he was able to get to Iris, whispering things about me and how I had created this situation.
I would complain but it fell on deaf ears. Thankfully the Cafcass Guardian attended one and witnessed it himself, the supervisor leaving Iris unattended with Liam so he could whisper.
Iris came back with promises of iphones and new gifts but each time she would return traumatised. Disassociating, her eyes would go blank and dark, bed wetting, insomnia and nightmares, anger towards me and to herself. Bedtimes were horrendous, she would scream and kick at Lola and I for 2-3 hours at a time. Eventually, after trying Phenergen (which Lola had been prescribed for sleep) we were issued with Melatonin which was a lifesaver (and still is when she has been triggered).
At times Liam told her that he had seen her near School / near home and she would refuse to go to school for fear he would come and abduct her. I would drag her daily to school ond get her changed in the school office before handing her over to a teacher. One of Liam's friends had a daughter in her year, and the mother would look smugly at me when she saw my distress. 5 years on still returns to that fear.
Now contact is monthly, the cycle of trauma is still here but sometimes she decides she doesn't want to go. She knows the impact contact has on her mental health and will often decide she doesn't want to go for fear of ruining an upcoming celebration. We are back in Court now to determine whether this will be reduced or increased in fre quency.
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