Summer 2023. Since Court reopened, Lola who is by now 13 is struggling to process the abuse she suffered. She started hanging around with the wrong crowd and I would be getting weekly calls from the School regarding her 'choices'. I am trying to manage as best I can, she starts self harming and thankfully has been talking to me about it. I immediately find a therapist she can talk too who suggests she downloads the Self Harm App to keep track of her progress (it is scary how many of her friends are also on it). She has also started vapeing, which she says helps her when she thinks about 'what her did'.
For so long she buried it all in a box and I always knew it was bound to come out. I had been trying to get her moved to a new school so she could have a fresh start, and I put the pressure on when she discovered that one of her confidantes at school had spread the rumours she had been raped by her father.
It then went up a notch further, during the summer holidays she had two friends stay over (a long story but I had said that her friends weren't allowed to stay and she manipulated the situation) and I was woken at 2.30am by an hysterical Lola. She told me that the Police were downstairs and wanted to talk to me,
I stumbled downstairs and the Policeman said that her and her friends had been walking around the town at 2am and a security guard had informed the Police. As you can imagine I was livid. Through her tears Lola told me that a boy at school had been sending her rape threats over snapchat - thankfully she had screen grabbed them as proof.
Over the next couple of days the threats continued so I reported it to the Police. She was reticent to make a statement as she still felt the resentment that the Police hadn't listened to her previously, but she was brave and she did it. They assured us they would act on it and speak to the boy.
We still had three weeks till she was due to start school so it felt we could breathe easy and the Police and School would be deal with it.
As the beginning of the academic year approached we still had no word so I attempted to make contact with the Police to get an update. This went on for at least a week until we were at the last day of the summer hols. One officer I spoke too said I needed to contact the school so they could make a safeguarding plan so I met with her Head of Year and we sat with Lola to identify times she may feel unsafe.
But after the first day the boy and his friend started to continue with the threats. I told School I couldn't send her in without the Police taking action so she missed the first full week back, she was scared she would get jumped - she has seen friends being beaten up at School so it was a real fear. I finally managed to get hold of the Police Officer (after making complaints to the Police Commission) who seemed to be incredibly junior and appeared to have 'forgotten' our case.
Aside from my day job I was in a cycle of following up or complaints with the School / Police / Admissions Office (to get a school transfer) / MP / Cafcass Guardian to try and get support.
The School tried to fob me off, claiming that it was outside of School so not under their jurisdiction, but a friend shared with me the statutory guidance - Keeping Children Safe in Education and they do have a responsibility. I started driving her in late / picking up early so she wasn't at risk of retaliation from the boy and his friends.
Despite a strongly worded email from the Cafcass Guardian stating that an alternative School had a duty of care to provide her with a place so she could be removed from the situation I wasn't making any progress. This was until a friend who worked in a local 6th form told me I could apply for a 'Managed Move'. This was a new concept to me, and it enables a child to trial a new school on a temporary basis. And this worked (I had also started to engage my local MP - again - who were very supportive). Early days, it is not all plain sailing but I am hoping this marks a new era.
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